Today I’m going to tell you about the time I was trapped in my own bedroom.
My apartment in San Francisco was a charming, historic Victorian-style building with some seriously janky features. One of those features was my bedroom doorknob.
One week, I noticed I was having trouble turning the doorknob. It would get stuck, or it would turn but not open the door. As with most things, I chose to ignore it until it became a bigger problem. I went the whole week just rolling with my janky doorknob.
That Friday night, or rather 3am on Saturday morning, I got home from a long night out at one of the SoMa clubs watching a lineup of multiple DJs I knew nothing about. By the time I made it home, I was so ready to go to bed and forgot about the janky doorknob. Standing inside my room, I tried to open the door to use the bathroom.
And then the inevitable happened and the doorknob fell off. From inside the room.
I had no way of getting out, so I texted my roommates a ridiculously calm message, something along the lines of “Hello everyone! I am trapped in my own room. When you see this text in the morning, can someone please come and get me? Thanks all, have a great night!” Then I went to sleep.
In the morning, my roommate’s boyfriend wandered into the hallway and heard me jiggling with my door, told my roommate he thought I might be trapped, and my roommate was like “Nah, Alex has had trouble with her door all week.” Then she checked her phone, saw my text, and ran to open my door, finding me sitting there on the ground trying to figure out how to open the door without a knob. We thought it was hilarious and I immediately left to get In-N-Out, while pondering the absurdity that I was paying over $1500 in rent to get locked in my own room.
There are a couple things I was lucky about. One, I did not have to pee that badly. And two, I had my phone on me, so I was able to Google how to kick down a door in the event that it came to that. Apparently you have to aim for the area above or below the lock, which is the weakest part of the door.
Whenever I get myself into a situation like this one — a mess of my own making — it’s a reminder that sometimes I’m really bad at taking care of the things I should probably take care of.
Why do we procrastinate on the “life admin” tasks like fixing a doorknob? Maybe it’s because life tasks can feel like one thing too many on top of work tasks. For some reason I’m on top of my admin at work, like scheduling an interview with a reporter. I’m one of the most responsible, Type-A people (hence my newsletter title) that you’ll see in the office. But then when it comes to scheduling a doctor’s appointment it feels insurmountable. Suddenly things that weren’t my problem, like car insurance and phone bills and meal prep, are now my problem. But why am I so bad at dealing with them?
If you feel like you’re falling behind on all the life things, I’m right there with you. But at some point it’s not a good strategy to wait until the absolute last minute to get something done. It’s about time to step up and be the CEO of your own life and get better at managing things. You have to make the decision to just rip off the Band-Aid and do what you need to do. But that’s easier said than done, which is why I still haven’t gotten my Colorado driver’s license yet. Whoops. Maybe next week.
On to the news part of the newsletter:
This Colorado Couple Modeled Their $37 Million Mansion After a 16th Century English Manor: Sadly not a headline about me. (Wall Street Journal)
Woman Took Care of Succulent for Two Years, Then Realized It Was Fake: Surprisingly not a headline about me. (Vice)
Is it canceled yet? You can now visit a website called itscanceled.com to see what’s been cancelled in the wake of the coronavirus. Among the things cancelled: Adobe Summit, Facebook F8, Mobile World Congress and handshakes. Not cancelled yet: Coachella and the apocalypse. (Morning Brew)
Tito's Vodka is warning consumers that it can't be used as a hand sanitizer replacement as the coronavirus spreads across the US: So this is where we’re at. (Business Insider)
My Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend Is Lady Gaga: A writer gets a text from a friend that her ex is dating someone new, and it’s Lady Gaga. (New York Times)
Starbucks: A reconsideration: At the 50th anniversary of Starbucks, we must ask ourselves: What does Starbucks mean to us today? I enjoyed this line the most: “A Starbucks order takes a lot of words. It is a little monologue about your identity: You are almond milk; you are two pumps skinny mocha sauce. ‘I know you,’ Starbucks says. ‘I understand you.’” (Vox)
A Candy Bar Ended a Five-Hour Prison Standoff: Apparently if you’re a crisis negotiator, it’s an effective tactic to offer a snack. (Vice)
Up to 91% More Expensive: How Delivery Apps Eat Up Your Budget: “Take Panda Express, the fast-food chain. If you ordered a $39 Family Feast value meal using Uber Eats, your tab would be 49 percent higher than if you bought the same meal at the restaurant. You would have to really love Panda Express to pay this kind of premium — and that doesn’t even include a tip.” As it happens, I do really love Panda Express. (New York Times)
Lessons from re-watching Breaking Bad in 2020:
Chris is currently on a Breaking Bad kick, watching it all the way from start to finish, and it’s even more interesting the second time around. There’s a scene when Walt is talking to Hank (his DEA agent brother-in-law) about how illegal substances are so arbitrary. How do we decide what is legal and illegal? And if something is illegal, does that mean it’s morally wrong? (The answer is no). In 1920 it was illegal to booze and obviously now it’s all well and good. It also used to be illegal for me to vote, so.
In the scene Walt goes, “Who knows what will be legal next year?” Hank: “You mean like pot?” Fast forward and here we are.
The legal history of drug policy in the United States is a very complex topic that I’m not going to tackle here. But it’s something I think about almost every day, because it’s not lost on me that there are people still in prison for an industry that I am now benefiting from. How would people view cannabis, had it never been illegal in the first place?
We can’t go backwards, but we can keep doing the work to move forwards, and I wouldn’t be doing my job as a pot PR person if I didn’t keep the conversation going about a misunderstood plant and the beautiful products that people are creating.
It’s just a plant! Here’s hoping it’s in biology textbooks one day.
Food for thought:
Hear me out: Pasta noodles made from healthy things. I recently tried out chickpea noodles for mac ‘n cheese and it actually tasted like the real deal, maybe even better. Zoodles, on the other hand, still kind of taste like sad zucchini. Still not totally on board with that one.
To try out the fancy-pants Williams-Sonoma chickpea mac:
Swap out normal noodles with chickpea elbow noodles
Farmstead cheese (or aged cheddar), freshly grated
Thick sliced bacon (get it at the deli counter)
Bread crumbs
Cayenne pepper
You’ll eat something delicious and unhealthy while also eating chickpeas! A win-win.
Some personal finance advice:
Just buy the f***ing latte. Also, buy the latte cup that says “Buy the f***ing latte.”
Personal finance writers have been criticized for saying you shouldn’t spend money on the things you want. A classic rule of thumb is to “make your own coffee at home instead of buying a latte.” This is the biggest guilt trip ever and sucks the joy out of Starbucks, which is SACRED.
Like, don’t go wild, but also don’t feel guilty for spending money on enjoying your life. The reason we make money is to spend it. The other day I was complaining about how expensive my circus classes are, and then Chris pointed out that it’s never a bad thing to spend money on a workout that you actually like.
I’m not saying don’t save money, because that’s a thing I also need to do more of (it’s gotten easier since leaving SF). But give yourself permission to BTL (Buy The Latte).
TGIF! Do some admin. Buy the latte. Live your life. Also, subscribe below if you haven’t already!
Cheers,
Alex